Waxed

I've had really bad luck with chapstick lately. It doesn't seem to matter what kind it is or where I put it, but every time I go to use it it's twisted all the way into the cap in an unuseable gooey mess.

I put my favorite one in my pocket on my way out the door to work a week or so ago. When I got home and went to use it, it was inevitably gooed in the cap. I let it sit on the dresser for a few days, not really wanting to throw it away because I liked it, but secretly knowing it was done for.

Then, yesterday I had a stroke of brilliance! My car sits in a hot, hot, HOT parking lot all day long. So, my brilliance equates to this: I'd leave my chapstick in the car all day standing up so that it would melt back into the bottle and be useable again. So smart! (Why did I not think of this sooner? And to think I could have saved all of my poor ruined chapsticks!)

Well, I started on my drive home today and remembered my smartness. I picked up the chapstick (at a corner when I was stopped) and opened the lid to see if it really worked the way I knew it was going to. Clear liquid immediately streamed out all over my hands (who knew chapstick liquified in over 100 degree temperatures? You learn something new everyday). I scrambled for the tissue box, which was in the back seat on the far side of the car, to find only two tissues remained. As I went to wipe up the liquid I looked at my hands and to my astonishment the liquid chapstick had started to solidify like candle wax! My fingers looked like they were encased in candles! Now, I had two tissues with which to scrape all this off without getting it all over the inside of my car, plus get it all off my hands so I didn't grease every surface of my vehicle with tingly ice flavored goo (mind you, I'm still stopped at the corner hoping no one comes up behind me).

I opened the door and began scraping onto the asphault below. I managed to get the majority of it off my hands, thank goodness. I threw the greased tissues into the, now, empty tissue box with the remainder of the chapstick. It just wasn't worth keeping.

I was left to conclude, as I drove home with the palms of my hands so as not to cause more grief of unwanted waxing, that my brilliance was not so brilliant afterall. . . sigh . . .but, it did make me giggle. He, He, He